Two Shabby Figures Indeed
by "Quiet & Bookish"
Editor's Note: Thank you to Laurie R. King for one of the best characters ever created, the following is a look at a scene from "The Beekeeper's Apprentice" from someone who experienced the most interesting meeting, this is...well...a some what different perspective. Thank you to owner of this webpage for letting me share this tale with you.
Bzzzz! Bzzzzz! "How long do you think he's gonna sit there and watch us?"
A tall a slender man was seated under the tree, his grey eyes never lookin at anything but us. I was becoming bored, and wish he would do something else. "I don't know, but I think I want to go home, and we need him to show the way, I've forgotten from that darned wind draggin us around!" Bzzz! Bzzzz!
"I do say, who on earth or rather what on earth is that creature?" I tall, lanky, almost-human looking thing started heading toward assistant.
"I don't know, why don't you ask it?" Bzz Bzzz
"Because, you imbecile, I can only buzz, not speak human!" I said, "Zer!"
"Well, its gonna run right over our assistant, if it doesn't stop staring at that odd appendage"
"I agree, lets wake it up! BZZZZ! BZZZZ!"
"You truly are an insect, aren't you?" I sighed, "Oh there it goes, and look, that appendage has flown away!"
"What is it saying and why so loud?" It picked up its aforementioned appendage from the ground and rose.
It spoke "What on earth are you doing? Lying in wait for someone?"
Assistant looked like he was going to giggle, something I might add, I haven't seen him do in a long time, none of us have, he simply replied "I should think that I can hardly be accused of 'lying' anywhere, as I am seated openly on an uncluttered hillside, minding my own business. When that is, I am having to fend off those who purpose to crush me underfoot." I thought he was trying to sound like one of those snobby humans. Rather rude I should think.
It looked like a bull getting ready for battle, it straightened to its full height, and lifted what I think is it's chin, we almost buzzed off at this point, it might have gotten ugly. But we stayed, for support, just in case things did. I've always been protective of assistant, he has always been kind to me.
"What in all heck is wrong with it?" my winged companion asked.
"Hard telling with those things, whatever that one is, is beyond me, now be quiet, I want to know what is too become of it." I glanced with all my eyes at my idiotic friend, then looked back at the weary travellers.
It went on, "You have not answered my question, sir" Assistance didn't even seem acknowledge it's new stance.
"What am I doing here, do you mean?"
"Exactly."
"I am watching bees."
I intercepted silently (at least it seemed to be to our guests) "Move over! I think I can get some good pollen over there!"
The tall thing began to rant about why we had painted spots upon our bodies, it was just stating the obvious I don't know why assistant looked so interested in what it said. Assistant rose in an incredible attention, his grey eyes stared in amazement into it's blue pair. Why us? Were so tiny compared to the giants of humanity. Why did he care what that weird human thought about us? When it finished its little speech assistant looked down, then back at it. Well, I tell you one thing, it definitely interested him, it shot some rude comments back when he began to speak.
"My God" Assistant said, "it can think"
Ah hah! So my deductions are correct! It is an it! Not a human! I wonder if assistant knows what 'it' is after all?
"My God, it can recognize another human being when it's hit over the head with one." It snapped back.
Ok, now it is safe to say that I was utterly confused to say the least, it is claiming to be human and now calling assistant 'it'? What in carnation is going on here? Bzzzz....carnations.....Bzzzz.
What I previously thought to be 'it', continued, "And to think that I was raised to believe old people had decent manners."
I flew furiously away from my work, and darted towards the insulting creature. Who is 'it' calling old? He is not old! But, before I could get passed the first branch, my young blue-spotted friend stopped me.
"Let me go! I must get it! Did you hear what it said, it can't speak like that to him!"
"What are you gonna do Izzabelle? Sting it and die? Not hardly! You're the oldest, perhaps the oldest ever, so just get back to work, I'm sure we'll find our way home sooner or later, and I'm sure assistant can handle this simple creature." My friend had a point, we both buzzed back to our respective blossoms. Me on full look out for anymore rude comments toward assistant.
But then something that will shock my listeners, ah hem, readers even still, happened, assistant found out what the creature was. Oh, yes he did Indeed.
Assistant started again "Young man, I-"
"Young man?" It replied, with a certain amount of anger behind its strange voice. Then repeated it's statement, with the same amount of anger. It went on, "It's a damned good thing you did retire, if that's all that remains of the great detective's mind" It, well now I can tell you 'she', pulled off what I now is called a 'cap' from the top of her, and long blonde plaits slithered down over her shoulders, like one of the snakes from Housekeeper's garden, I might add. She, for a human was striking thing with her hair by her shoulders, quite beautiful by their awful standards. Me I like a man with wings and, oooh nevermind, I'm getting side-tracked. Anywho, Assistant looked as shocked as I probably had, if anyone had noticed to look, his steel grey eyes widened and, then relaxed, then he let out a silent sigh. But, then a shocking thing happened, assistant, who I had come to think had taken ill, laughed. Laughed I tell you, a hearty one too, his head flipped back, I thought he might even fall it went so fast.
They began to talk about us, and assistant stroked my tired body, as I continued to look like I was working, with his finger gently. He had only done this to me one other time, and I might say, I thoroughly enjoy it. They compared us to homo sapiens, how belittling, if they only knew! She really seemed to have us figured out. She has no idea what hard work and sacrifice is. Well, then introductions were made, well maybe half of one, she already knew his name. She said "My name is Mary Russell." They shook hands. And chatted about her name, then started off amongst the beaten paths and hills of the Sussex Downs. Somewhere around four miles I believe it is in human lengths to get to Assistant's, and our home.
Me and my blue-spotted pals followed not far behind, stopping here and there for some good pollen. They chatted the whole way, he talked with her like he had known her forever, I suppose. Because, conversation seemed to flow so easily, bzzz it was nice to hear his voice again. After that, we haven't been able to get rid of the creature we call "Russell" now. It's been a long time since that fateful day, I was at the end of a long journey, and assistant, well...I think he was just beginning one.
Author's Notes
I know what you are thinking...now how on earth could that bee, know Holmes before she got swept away in the wind, and after, and for years to come? Well, I'm a very strange bee, you might say. In my youth I was in a bad storm and when it was over, and I survived, I met an old chap, walking along on a cane, I rested on his shoulder, for I was very tired and needed a break from all the flying. He smiled at me, and I began my cleaning processes, and I rested my wings, he didn't seem like he was going to swat at me. All I remember after that is, he tapped me with his cane, and I've lived through everything ever since. Storms, new Queens, and even a bomb once. I don't think Holmes ever knew of my age, but I knew him. He may be a great detective, and a superb bee-keeper, but he's no believer of magic I'm afraid. I've lived a long life, I was about 20 when I met Russell, and I am now 106 in human years (you don't even want to know my bee age), impossible I know. Well, I told this story to a 'bee' of another sorts. I met her once at a field in Ohio, U.S.A., I think, thats the state...yes? Ok, well she is recording this now, even as I speak, strange thing is, she can actually tell what I'm saying. She told me she was 'bee' of another nature and a great fan of Russell's and Watson's version's of assistant's life and adventures, and of Russell's adventures in her own right. Russell did have some good ones with our Holmes. Well this 'bee' asked me to share mine with you all. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, I know it might come off silly to some, but maybe in some way, it was supposed to. Who would ever believe a bee anyhow? Some do, and some don't, most bees don't even believe me, I'm afraid. But, either way it was a story of the greatest stature, and this is just a simple bee's perspective of it. Now if you will excuse me, my human friend who calls herself a 'bee' says she will read me Russell's version, how exciting...