Horse Sense

by "Vestige of Femininity"

The early morning quiet of London's east end was shattered by the big bay horse as it flew through the cold, wet streets in a frenzied panic, dragging its hansom and driver with it. The driver struggled to bring the terrorized animal under his control, but it had been badly startled more then once this night and was not responding to the resonant commands or the sound curses that he hurled at it. Fortunately, it was of such an hour that the streets were mostly abandoned and the driver could concentrate on the horse itself and not on avoiding other traffic in its path. Those few souls that were still abroad for whatever purposes, good or ill, had fair warning of its passing as the horse's hoofs hit the cobblestones with considerable force and clatter. The driver's strong hands pulled at the reins and he put the weight of his lean frame to the same purpose. Through brute force and obvious experience, he managed to slow the animal from its uncontrolled gallop to a trot and then finally to a halt.

He tied the reins on and with an agility that belied his years, jumped down from his perch atop the hansom. Silently and with care, he examined the still fretting horse for signs of injury or trauma, but only found a sweating and frightened animal, breathing heavy clouds into the frosty night and cringing at his touch.

"Well, my fractious friend," he said, finally satisfied with his survey, "she well and truly got your goat this night, didn't she?" The posh tones that rang out so resonantly were in sharp contrast to the unkempt nature of his dress and demeanour. The horse shied and turned its head away from the sound.

"However, no need to take it personally," he held the bridle firmly and put one fingerless gloved hand through the horse's mane and patted its neck. It eyed him nervously through its blinkers and snorted but was held in its place by the driver's fast hold. "You are not the first, nor I venture the last male, to be done in by that woman. And she is a woman now, or at least in a week's time it will be official. For then she will have reached her majority, and she will be a woman of independent means to go with her independent ways."

"Be that as it may, you will be relieved to know that she does not always take out her frustrations on mucilage rejects such as yourself. No, that fit of pique was for my benefit, not yours. It was in response to something I said. Therefore, I have to take at least part of the responsibility for it. And I do beg your pardon, by the way." At this he removed his shabby silk hat and swept it jauntily in front of him. "But you can, of course, understand my dilemma here, can't you."

The animal's breathing slowed and its head lowered as it relaxed under the man's attention. "Yes, I thought you might. You have a look about you that indicates a certain wisdom in this area of human folly." He removed his hand from the bridle and the big bay tossed its head and snorted again but no longer fretted.

"After all, what was I to do? I had to do something to rouse her from that irritating complacency of hers. She seems to be quite satisfied with the way her life is progressing. I, on the other hand, am becoming weary of these roles of mentor and friend that she has assigned me in her life. No, perhaps that is not the proper way to phase it; for it is not that I am not these things to her, or that I resent them in any way. Indeed, not. I took up these roles quite willingly six years ago and I think I can quite truthfully say that they have been instructional in many ways. However, now that she is her own woman, I think it is high time that she see past the confines that they impose upon me."

"You see, my ill-tempered friend, she wants me to marry her as her friend and mentor. Yes, indeed. Well you may snort. She wants me to enter into some sterile union to quell the gossiping tongues of the good people of this land. Well, I'll not have any part of that, I can tell you."

"And why not, you ask? Because, God damn it, I have loved that girl since the day I met her and I will not settle for anything less than a complete relationship with her!"

A couple in a doorway on the opposite side of the street interrupted their amorous interlude to peer at the source of this harangue. While he did seem to ignore their uncomfortable laughter, he did lower his voice.

"So now you see my problem. I had to make that rather rude comment back there to wake her up to the fact that I am also a man, not just a friend and mentor. And if she wants a marriage, then it will not be a marriage in name only."

He shook his head, "You would think that a woman of her superior intellect and powers of observation would be able to discern this. She herself, in the very first hours of our acquaintance, divined (much to my discomfiture, I will admit to only you) that I would not settle for less than an all encompassing relationship with a woman. But she seems to have conveniently forgotten this. Then again, she was only fifteen when she said it. I suppose it is possible that she did not realize the implications of that statement."

The approaching sound of footsteps and stick on the cold cobblestones made the driver turn and point. "Ah. You see that distinguished looking gentleman over there who seems somewhat disconcerted by our little tete-a-tete? Yes, the one who is scurrying away. He looks not unlike my friend Watson. Have I told you what friend Watson thinks? No? Well, he seems to think I should just declare my affections for her. Hah! It is my turn to snort at that one. You know what she would do, don't you? Simply put, she would bolt. Much like she did tonight, as a matter of fact. And you can be certain that this time she would be able to give you lessons in how to do it!"

The horse shook its head and nudged him. "Yes, you two have that in common, don't you? A tendency to run whenever you encounter an awkward personal problem. Well, I suppose that's rather unfair to you, isn't it? One could hardly call that bottle, some pieces of brick and that tin can that she so deftly flung at us your personal problems. Or could one?"

"Eeer! You there!" A strolling constable had come upon this odd scene, and regarding the driver with acute suspicion, he ventured, "What seems to be the trouble 'er then?"

"Noaw t'ruble 'eer, guv," the driver's posh tones were now replaced with the distinct inflection of a native of the east end thoroughfares that surrounded him. "We wus just makin' powlite conversascin'."

The constable's face showed his displeasure at this facetious reply. However, when he looked more closely at the driver's grinning countenance he was unsure whether to reprimand him or to have him committed. Since he was nearing the end of his shift, the thought of the extra paperwork decided him.

"None o' your lip, now. You finish up and be off wit ya, 'ear?"

The driver raised his cap in salute, "Right you are, guv. An' a very goo' evenin' to ya!"

He blew on his partially gloved hands for warmth and watched surreptitiously as the constable went about the remainder of his rounds on the street, rattling doors and gates alike. When he judged him to be sufficiently out of earshot he continued his one sided conversation.

"Where was I? Ah, yes. I do believe I was rambling, wasn't I? That will never do." He continued to stroke the horse's mane and to pat its neck. "So, what shall we do with her then? Any words of wisdom? Suggestions?"

Putting his ear closer to the horse, he said, "What? Break down her defenses, you say? My dear equine friend, you have no idea of what you suggest. The woman has a positive talent for building walls around herself to keep out the intruders. One cannot really fault her for this, for she has not had an easy time of it. And I suspect she may even have acquired some of this ability at my knee, so to speak. However, her walls are more fortress-like than most."

"Still, maybe you are right. No doubt my verbal arrow will have hit its target and will set her to thinking at least. And with a little perseverance on my part, who knows? Historically speaking, most fortresses do come tumbling down at some point don't they?"

He looked back then in the direction from which they had come. "Well then, I suppose I shall have to go in search of her." The horse pawed the ground and its tail swished, "Yes, yes, I know. She is quite capable of looking out for herself. However, I do promise not to interfere with her 'fun,' as she calls it. And," he lowered his voice, "just between you and me, I should be happier knowing that she is safe. Besides, I have nothing better to do right now and it will be an excellent exercise to pass the time. She 'tracked' me down, and now I shall track her down. So, what say you?" The horse nudged the man's hand for more.

"Glad to know that we are in agreement. However, if I am to do that, we shall have to return you to the good Mr. Jacobs, won't we?" At this, a low whinny.

"I am sorry, my dear chap. But I'm afraid I can not take you with me, as no doubt she will be on her guard for the sound of your hoofs and this hansom. No, this I shall have to do on foot. Come along then. I'll walk you there as I believe we are not far from Mr. Jacob's stables." Absently he counted, "Yes, two streets down and one over."

The clip clop of horse's hoofs and the faint grind of the moving cab behind it, was all that could be heard as the animal, calmed by the gentle tenor of the man's voice and attentions, ambled quietly alongside him through the now mostly silent streets.

"Evenin,' Josephs," the proprietor of the stables greeted him. "Back again, I see. Didn't fink you'd be gone as long as ya were, with tha' leather-mouthed bugger. Did 'ee give ya too much trouble then? Though 'ee seems right gennel-like now." Indeed as the man spoke the horse nuzzled the driver's dirty sleeve affectionately, seeking his strong hands.

"Now tr'uble t'all." Again, the Cockney tripped off Josephs' lips as comfortably as his Oxbridgian accent had just moments before. "'Oi speerits an' a bit oov a temper, is all. Not unlike sum people I know." He straightened the bay's forelock and patted its neck one last time, then reached inside his pocket. "I had a good night, t'night. Them toffs 'as more money thin brains ta be owt on a night like this. Eer. Look owt for this 'un for me, eh?"

Jacobs looked down wide eyed at the five pound note that had been placed in his hands. He scratched his head as he held the horse's reins and regarded the man's lanky form retreating unhurriedly down the street. His face revealed his confusion as to this person he knew as Basil Josephs. He raised the hand with the note in it, as if to question him further, but seemed to think better of this and with a shrug he pocketed the money, no doubt realizing the fewer questions asked the better when it came to dealing with such madmen.