The Consequences of our Actions

by "My Dear, Sweet Wife" and "Woof!"

I stared blankly at the diary on my desk. It couldn't be. There was no little check mark on the calendar for over seven weeks. I flipped the leaves of the diary until the last mark appeared and counted the days, 30, 31, 32.... All the others ranged from 26 to 28 days apart. There was no mistake.

"Well, I thought, those oysters were innocent after all. No wonder I've been feeling so queasy. But good Lord, what am I going to tell Holmes? How am I going to tell him, and most important of all how will he react to the news?" I rose to go to the telephone but thought better of it. No, I would only know his true feelings if I saw his face. "Actually," I thought wryly, "I would only know his true feelings if he chose to reveal them. Even after five years of marriage, in many ways my husband was still an enigma. He had revealed more of himself to me than to any other human being but there was a core of privacy in his personality that I could not bring myself to try to breach. "And after all," I thought "he extends the same courtesy to me." Holmes had never tried to force a confidence, he was simply there ready to apply his formidable intelligence to any problem I might bring before him.

Gravel crunched under the tyres as I pulled up before the cottage. I removed her case from the boot and entered my home, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the cool dimness.

"Mrs. Hudson?"

Martha Hudson bustled into the room, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Mary, my dear! We didn't expect you until Saturday! Is everything all right?"

"Oh yes, fine. Is Holmes about? "

"He should be back any moment. He went for a walk a while ago. Such a smell that last experiment caused even Mr. Holmes couldn't abide it! Fair drove us both out of the cottage and me with dinner to get, too! It took a good fifteen minutes to air the place out. But enough of this, dear; you'll be wanting a cup of tea, I'm sure."

"Tea would be lovely, thank you. I'll come to the kitchen, though."

A few minutes later Holmes entered the spotless domain of his housekeeper.

"Welcome back, Russ. Has your work at Oxford begun to pall that you come back early?" He brushed his lips across my mouth and nodded when I pointed to the teapot.

"No, I uhm, I finished my research more quickly than expected so I decided to come back home. It's so beautiful here this time of year it's hard to stay away. "

Holmes looked at me sharply. "Come outside then and enjoy it if that is what has brought you back", he drawled.

Teacups in hand we made our way to the rustic bench on the terrace and settled ourselves.

"Now Russ, what has brought you back? When I spoke with you three days ago you distinctly said that you were on to something original and intimated that you might stay at Oxford over the week end. What changed your mind?"

"Damn, I thought, "no use hedging, he'd only see though that too"

"Holmes, I'm ..". she hesitated

" What is it Russ, good God, you're not ill are you?" he asked with uncharacteristic anxiety.

"No, not ill but, Holmes, we're going to have a child."

For a full minute, Sherlock Holmes was speechless, then

"Are you sure? What does the doctor say?"

"I haven't seen a doctor yet but yes, I'm sure Holmes. The evidence is unmistakable. I'm pregnant."

Holmes took my hand in his own and asked gently, "and how do you feel about this Russ? It's unexpected to be sure"

"Yes, although we've certainly done all the right things to make it happen. Five years married though--I thought I couldn't... the accident, I thought I wasn't able..." I stumbled to an incoherent halt.

"And so you devoted yourself to your work, and mine. "

"Yes, and this will change all that. It's bound to change our lives drastically, turn them upside down and yet..."

"Yet?" Holmes prompted.

"Marriage changed my life drastically, turned it upside down and has given me so much happiness. Perhaps this new development will do the same. I'm glad, Holmes, very glad. The question is, are you?"

Holmes got up from the bench and walked to the edge of the terrace. In silence, he contemplated the garden. The nervous feeling I had experienced at my desk returned. Holmes finally began to speak, but her remained standing with his back to me.

"I never intended to father a child. Not before, not now." A tightness began to grip Me, and my hands clenched into fists in my lap. "So, he doesn't want this after all," I thought.

"And, yet," he continued, "I find myself in that position for the second time in my life. I must admit that I find the thought rather unsettling. However, it does provide a challenge of unimaginable proportions and ... opportunity."

I found myself staring at my hands. A few minutes later, a shadow fell across me and I looked up at Holmes.

"Russell," he sad, taking a seat next to me, "As you know, my own childhood was not idyllic. My parents were rather distant people,, not very involved with their children. Whin I first became a father, I was unaware of the fact for so long that I, too, was distant." Holmes held up a hand as I began to interrupt. "Yes, I know. But physical distance let to emotional distance when we did actually meet. It was simply too late. I do not want to repeat my mistakes, or those of my parents, and yet a part of me feels that to be inevitable."

"But you are aware of it, Holmes", I protested. "You may be a product of your upbringing, but you are certainly not your father."

"I have tried all of my life," he replied, to come to terms with my family and my early life. I will do my damnedest with this child, but I wonder if parental love will be enough."

And with that unsettling statement, he took my hand and we sat together watching the darkness creep in over the horizon.

"Damn! Oh, Blast it!" I was on the brink of tears; not from pain but from frustration. For days now I had struggled each morning before succeeding in putting on my shoes and stockings - what had once been a flat stomach was now enormous in the last month of pregnancy.

"Russell, what on earth..." Holmes stood in the doorway and took in the situation with a glance. Without another word he took the stockings from my hand, knelt down, and I was hosed and shod in short order. He glanced at my face and sat down beside me.

"It won't be much longer, Russ."

"Thank goodness! Being pregnant is an interesting experience but I'm ready for it to end," I replied fervently. I had felt remarkably well through most of my pregnancy after the first two months and the accompanying nausea had passed, but for the last month my back had ached constantly under the strain of the added weight, I suffered from cramped leg muscles, and I had found it impossible to find a comfortable position in which to sleep. In fact, I felt tired, irritable and guilty that I was inflicting my bad temper on Holmes and Mrs. Hudson.

"By the way, Russell," Holmes said with studied casualness, "I've invited Watson to visit for a while."

"Visitors now?" I protested. "Holmes, I love Uncle John dearly but now is hardly the time..."

"Now is exactly the time." he interrupted, no longer casual. "We're not in London, Russ. There's only Dr. Kreitzer in our vicinity" He raised a hand to stop me as I opened my mouth. "Yes, I know she's very competent but she has too large an area to cover and we cannot be sure of her presence when the need arises. Unless you are prepared to enter the cottage hospital and await the birth, we will be wise to have Watson at hand." He smiled. "And if there is no need for his help when the child arrives, I assure you I will be glad of my old friend's support."

I knew Holmes was right, though it irked me to have to admit it yet again. Dr. Kreitzer, our excellent physician, was very busy and she had gently warned me that I was not the best candidate for childbearing. The boyish figure which was so fashionable for the twenties, and which enabled me to assume the persona of a young male by donning trousers and jacket and concealing my hair was a distinct disadvantage in my present circumstances. She had warned of the possibility of surgical intervention, but if possible I wanted to avoid it and to bear my child in familiar surroundings rather than the sterile hospital environment I detested

"Very well, Holmes, I said reluctantly. "When are we to expect him?"

"Er, actually he's arriving this afternoon. I asked Mrs. Hudson to prepare a room for him."

I managed to avoid another outburst at his high handed dealings and made my way down to breakfast in silence. Holmes eyed me as if I were a chemical experiment which could explode any moment and I ate quickly and sought the refuge of my desk and my studies. Although my research at Oxford had been curtailed during the last month, I was busy editing a manuscript which my friend and former lecturer, Duncan, hoped to publish soon. Since his knowledge of the practicalities of book production were as scant as his scholarly knowledge was copious my task was no small matter and I worked steadily all morning. In truth, I was glad to stay in the warmth of the cottage. The January weather was bitter cold and I felt no inclination to venture outdoors.

Dr. Watson arrived as expected and after I had returned his affectionate greeting we sat down to tea.

"Mary, my dear, you're looking very well but perhaps a little tired. How are you feeling? Are you sleeping well?" he asked, with a shrewd glance at my face.

"I do find it difficult to sleep," I admitted. "Dr. Kreitzer advised me to sleep on my left side, but as you know my shoulder makes that difficult. She told me that it wasn't altogether wise to sleep on my back any more."

"Quite right," he said approvingly. "The weight of the baby could constrict flow of oxygen to the foetus. My patients often found it difficult to sleep during the final months of pregnancy. You must nap when you can. Soon it won't be discomfort keeping you awake but a lively infant," he added with a smile. "I would not presume to question your own doctor's treatment, but if you have any questions please consider me at your service."

"Thank you, Uncle. I have every confidence in Dr. Kreitzer, but I think it would set Holmes's mind at ease if you would examine me and give him your assurance of my good health"

"If that is your wish, my dear, there's no time like the present."

We went up to my bedroom and I underwent the by now familiar procedure. Uncle John was both deft and gentle and I found myself relaxing in his presence. Finally he adjusted his stethoscope and placed it on my belly, nodding in a pleased fashion.

"A good, strong heartbeat." He removed the earpieces and with a kindly smile offered them to me. Delighted, I placed them over my own ears and heard the clear, swift beat of my child's heart.

Later that evening I left the others in conversation and retired to rest. It seemed that I had just dropped off when suddenly I found myself sitting bolt upright in bed, my arms clutched instinctively around my belly. The baby kicked furiously and I realized that my heart was pounding wildly. Holmes, too, had awakened and placed his arm around me reassuringly.

"Steady, Russ. It was just a thunderclap. The weather is finally breaking."

"It sounded like an explosion"

"Yes, the lightning must have struck something, hopefully a tree and not one of the outbuildings."

Holmes slid out of bed and went to the window. I joined him there but all we could see were the trees in the garden tossing wildly. I went on one of my increasingly frequent visits to the water closet and returned to bed, but I could no longer rest and soon reached once more for my dressing gown.

"What is it, Russ?"

"I'm just restless; the storm probably. I think I'll go downstairs. Perhaps a hot drink will help."

"I'll join you."

Twenty minutes later we were sipping tea in companionable silence when I suddenly felt a pain grip my stomach. I quickly set down my cup and grasped the edge of the table as the contraction grew stronger. Holmes was at my side in an instant.

"Russell?"

I let out my breath as the contraction eased away. "It's all right, Holmes. I've been having a few contractions for weeks now but they never last. The doctor said it was quite common at this time." I picked up my teacup and Holmes returned to his seat, but his eyes were still worried. A few minutes later we finished our tea and returned upstairs. The restlessness had not left me but I knew that if I did not return to bed Holmes would insists on keeping me company so I tried to find a comfortable position in which to wait out the night. I heard the clock mark the half hour and wondered if the night would ever end. The minutes dragged by, the clock struck one and before the echo of the chime was stilled the pain returned, stronger than before.

"Holmes," I whispered. "Holmes! It's started. I think the labor has started"

Holmes snapped to alertness and quickly left the bed.

"I'll wake up the others and call your doctor."

Mrs. Hudson was soon with me and I found myself reassured by her matter of fact manner and sound common sense.

"Well, Mary dear, so it's begun. Let's get you as comfortable as we can. It will be some time, I imagine. First babies are seldom in a hurry." She went to fetch the pads we had made of several thicknesses of newspapers sewn together and covered with old, clean sheets. She helped me up and placed some for me to lie on, then arranged the pillows until I was comfortably braced against them. Uncle John entered the room with his bag, spoke to me reassuringly and approved of her preparations. He asked her to fetch towels and set them to warm on the fender and to boil water to sterilize instruments when the doctor should arrive. She had barely left the room when Holmes reentered.

"Did you reach Dr. Kreitzer?"

Holmes came to my side and smiled with an effort. "It seems that you are not the only woman giving birth tonight, Russ. Dr. Kreitzer left shortly before the storm began to attend to a crofter's wife on Tom Whatley's farm. Her housekeeper assured me that she would inform the doctor of your need as soon as she returned. There's no phone at the shepherd's cottage, I'm afraid."

Holmes turned to Uncle John. "Watson, I know Mary, could not be in more capable hands than yours. Our positions are truly reversed in the present case. I'm yours to command. I cannot leave her now,"he added firmly, in response to the doctor's doubtful glance.

"It will be a long night, my friend,"replied the doctor. "Try to keep Mary as calm and comfortable as possible. Mrs. Hudson and I will do the rest."

Mrs. Hudson was right, my baby was in no hurry to put in an appearance. Hours passed and the contractions continued. At Mrs. Hudson's suggestion Holmes kneaded my back between the pains which gradually increased in force while the intervening time of peace between them shortened. I was getting very tired. Finally I felt a rush of liquid and looked at Uncle John in a panic. He was nodding his head as if well pleased.

"The sack has broken; the process will speed up now."he said.

True to his prediction the contractions became much more forceful but still the child did not come. Dr. Watson tried to dissemble but Holmes knew him too well.

"Watson, what is it?" he asked sharply.

Dr. Watson ignored Holmes and spoke to me.

"Mary, you must begin to bear down with each pain. You must help the child along. Bear down!"

I nodded and gritted my teeth as I felt the contraction start. I pushed with each pain for what seemed like an eternity.

"I see the head; bear down again, my dear. One more big push will see the child here!"

The next contraction cam and I closed my eyes and pushed with all my strength. I heard the smack of palm on flesh and then a loud, indignant wail and Holmes whispered in my ear.

"We have a son, Russ."

I opened my eyes and saw my child in Uncle John's hands. He placed the boy in the warm towel Mrs. Hudson held, then quickly tied off and snipped the umbilicus. Mrs. Hudson turned to the waiting basin to clean him and Doctor Watson smiled up at Holmes and me.

"A fine boy. Congratulations, my friends."

Dr. Watson took care of the necessary aftermath of childbirth and finally, Mrs. Hudson brought over a white bundle and placed it in my arms.

I looked at the bright red morsel of humanity that was our son. He was a red and wrinkled as any newborn, and I remembered what my father had told me when he first showed me my baby brother - "Don't worry, Mary, he'll soon look more human. " I understood my mother's indignation now, for in my eyes, he was beautiful..

Dr. Watson cleared his throat

"Have you decided what you will call him?"

"We chose his name some time ago," Holmes replied. "Allow me to present John Russell Holmes."

Uncle John was obviously touched. "I am proud to have such a fine namesake. Er, I'll leave you alone with your new family for a while. Call me if you need me."

The door closed behind Dr. Watson and I looked up at Holmes.

"Well, husband, do you approve of your son?"

Holmes loosened the towel and ran a finger gently over the baby's toes.

"All present and correct," he murmured, then smiled. "He's perfect, Russ. Thank you."

"It was a joint venture, Holmes. I could not have done it without you."

"Then this must be the finest result of our collaboration to date."

"I couldn't agree more."